You’re Not Listening To Me Even For Just A Second

My blog is titled “Just Listen to Me for a Second.” But you’re not listening to me, not even for a second.

I know this because I’m getting no comments. So if I’m wrong, and you are listening to me, you’re not letting me know. I want to know. I want to know what you think, if you agree with me in an opinion piece, if you were interested in a factual piece. Leaving me in the dark is not fun and makes me feel like I’m wasting my time.

And if I know you personally, and you have a blog as well, you don’t count. I know you’re reading it and you don’t need to tell me by commenting.

But if you are listening and don’t have a clue as to who I am, I want you to let me know.

I say you’re not listening to me precisely because there is no proof that you are listening to me.

So, especially for this post: just listen to me for a second.

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2006 MLB Season Predictions

I am a big sports fan, as you might have assumed from my post about the ESPN forums. With baseball season just 4 days away, I have decided to predict what will happen this season.

AL East winner: New York Yankees
AL Central winner: Cleveland Indians
AL West winner: Anaheim Angels
AL Wild Card: Toronto Blue Jays

NL East winner: Atlanta Braves
NL Central winner: St. Louis Cardinals
NL West winner: San Francisco Giants
NL Wild Card: Houston Astros

World Series: Yankees over Cardinals in 7 games

AL MVP: Alex Rodriguez, Yankees
NL MVP: Albert Pujols, Cardinals

AL Cy Young: Roy Halladay, Blue Jays
NL Cy Young: Carlos Zambrano, Cubs

RIP Paul Dana

I have never understood the appeal of driving cars in circles while at unsafe speeds. Nor have I understood why people flock to tracks to watch it.

Well, I do understand, sort of. There is an awe in power, and power it what you get when you see a car flying at 200 mph. This is almost three times the highest legal speed on any road in the United States–which gives you an idea as to how dangerous it is to drive at even 100 mph.

My confusion in this subject only increased at the news of the death of Paul Dana. I don’t follow racing, which you could probably tell. But it is still big news when a 30 year old person dies. NASCAR has the same problem with death as the Indy series does, as became evident in the Dale Earnhardt tragedy. There have been other deaths while racing cars.

Only one person has ever died as a direct result of playing Major League Baseball, and that was in 1920. Nobody has died from an injury resulting directly from an NFL game (although one person came close) or as a direct result from an NBA game.

However, there is no way to assure safety when the object of the game is to operate dangerous machinery recklessly.

Government Perpetrated 9/11 Attacks? BS

Lots of people who think they are important, but really aren’t (see, I don’t think I’m important, so I don’t apply), seem to think that the attacks on September 11, 2001, were caused by the government.

That’s bull shit and there’s no reason to buy into it unless you specialize in paranoia.

So why do I bring up a supposedly worthless viewpoint that should not be recognized? Well, I have noticed many people believe this, and I discovered (through a message board) a great webpage which, if you read all 9 pages, thoroughly proves that anyone in the crazed anti-government camp is wrong. Any possible claim to “prove” that the government committed the crimes on 9/11 is debunked.

So if you’re a conspiracy theorist, consider this one dead.

Harry Truman on His Predecessors

If you read my other blog, you know that I have a great interest in studying the American presidents. Apparently one of these men, Harry S. Truman, was either asked or chose to talk about his opinions on his predecessors.

I make this assumption based on a site I found via another blog. As you look through each of the presidents on this page, all of them who preceded Truman (except for Garfield), as well as Truman’s successor Eisenhower, have a quote about them by Truman.

His favorites were Washington, Jefferson, Jackson, Polk, Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt, Wilson, and Franklin Roosevelt. He disliked almost everybody else, and most of his dislike was put on William Harrison, Taylor, Fillmore, Pierce, Buchanan, Grant, Coolidge, and Eisenhower.

I find this tidbit appropriate in light of my study to analyze the presidents.

Song in Advertising

It needs to stop.

You’ve probably seen the ad for Applebee’s with the “Gilligan’s Island” ripoff. You’ve probably seen the ad for Doublemint.

Don’t they just piss you off? They piss me off.

When’s the last time you’ve seen a good commercial that focused on singing a song? I can’t point to one. Good commercials are funny; songs are not funny. They are annoying.

Advertisers need to learn from Geico’s old routine in which the punch line was always “I just saved a bunch of money on car insurance by switching to Geico.” They need to learn from Burger King’s trick of randomly showing the King make a play in the NFL.

The best ads are unexpected jokes. The worst are songs…. and McDonald’s.

Mr. Rogers in a Blood Stained Sweater

Internet Phenomena: Chances are damn good you know of at least one.

You know the name Gary Brolsma? He’s the guy who made the crappy lip sync of the Romanian pop song “Dragostea Din Tei.”

How about Ghyslain Raza? You know, the Star Wars kid.

Homestar Runner. Badger Badger Badger.

They’re everywhere.

One of them caught my mind recently, and it’s where you will hear the line in the title: “The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny,” in which countless popular figures, from the historical (Abraham Lincoln) to the current (Jackie Chan) to the fictional (Batman) to the non-human (Godzilla), appear. As you might have guessed, Mr. Rogers wins.

Why do I write about this? Well, it just might be the most original of these phenomena. Look at the Wikipedia article at the top of the page, you’ll find categorizations of such phenomena. Obviously jokes about celebrities are none too original – Chuck Norris jokes in particular get quite tiresome. (And in a related note, Chuck Norris appears but does not win in “Ultimate Showdown.”) The list of non celebrities rely on other people’s work.

Well, I won’t actually go through it. You can read it yourself. But the ability exhibited by Lemon Demon and AltF4 to create a song, incorporate tons of popular figures in a catchy tune, and make it funny is quite an accomplishment.

At least, it’s more of an accomplishment than dancing wildly to a song you didn’t even write.